The Real Mommy Wars: 8 Struggles All Moms Understand

Resources all moms need for getting through.

The Mommy Wars are a funny thing—moms fighting amongst themselves about the best ways to be a mom. Organic or not? Breastfeeding or bottle? Homeschooling or public? It’s kind of exhausting when you get caught up in reading all of the pros and cons to the many different decisions placed before moms every day.

And I hate it.

Because you know what? Moms are already fighting the inner mommy wars on a daily basis! All moms want the best for their children, their homes, and their marriages. And most moms suffer from some amount of mom guilt because they aren’t sure if the decisions they are making are good enough. We tend to look to other moms for approval of the decisions we have made, and too often we are met with judgment instead of support, which only serves to compound the mommy guilt and the internal struggles we all face.

The struggles all Moms understand | what to make for dinner | how to find time for spouse | how to raise good kids | how to stretch a dollar | how to keep things clean and organized | how to find time for yourself

I am so thankful when I find supportive women who help me to ditch the mom guilt and make the best decisions for my own home and family. I’ve found a lot of those supportive women I am looking for have such a desire to help other moms that they have written books and courses that do just that. Today I want to share with you a few of the struggles we all face as busy wives and mothers and some resources that are sure to help you in your own struggles.

8 struggles all moms understand

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How to raise good kids

This is the big one, you know? We’ve brought these children into the world and we love them so much, but man—knowing how to raise them right is a struggle. And that’s not to mention how hard it is to always stay calm and loving with them. My biggest personal struggle as a mother is definitely how to keep my temper in check.

Resources that can help:

How to stretch a dollar as far as possible

I started out my mom journey when my husband was getting his Master’s degree and had my youngest right after he graduated with his doctorate. Needless to say, we really had to stretch those dollars in those years. Today, we still have to stretch them because teenagers are expensive and a professor’s salary isn’t huge. I’m always looking for new ways to budget and save money so that I don’t feel totally stressed out every time I pay the mortgage.

Resources that can help:

How to get dinner on the table every night

This might be the worst one for me, personally. I’m super grateful to have a husband who loves cooking and eating way more than I do, so he usually takes this job on happily. But sometimes he can’t and that means I have to do it and I feel like I have no ability in this department. But I’ve got to feed my kids, so learning how to cook and meal plan is pretty essential.

Resources that can help:

How to find time for dating your husband

My husband and I have gone through periods where we barely see each other because he’s busy with work and I’m busy with the kids. I hate those times, because I lose the connection with the person that is my best friend and partner in this whole mom gig. It’s really important to do set aside time for each other, no matter what else is going on so that you can keep your relationship with your husband front and center. But there’s not denying that it can be a struggle to find that time regularly.

Resources that can help:

52 Fantastic Dates for You and Your Mate by David and Claudia Arp

How to keep your life and home organized

My house right now as I write this? Not organized. The older my children get, the less time I have to devote to organizing and the more things I need to actually organize. It’s a struggle. I love to organize though, it’s mostly a matter of staying on top of it and knowing how to organize things in a way that will keep organized. I mean if that’s even possible.

Resources that can help:

Clutterfree With Kids: Change Your Thinking, Discover New Habits, Free Your Home by Joshua Becker
Overwhelm to Order: The Ultimate Homemaking Binder by Rachel Norman

How to keep your house clean

Similar to organization, keeping the house clean is also a struggle. Getting your kids to do their chores so you don’t have to clean everything yourself may be an even larger struggle. Finding the time and the know how to get deep cleaning done is something that is hard for me, too. I’m always looking for ways to get more house cleaned faster, aren’t you?

Resources that can help:

How to be more productive

I often feel like I am just spinning my wheels because I am not disciplined enough to do everything I could be doing in a day. Or, more likely, I head into the kitchen with the sole intention of cleaning up the breakfast mess and on my way there, I notice that the living room is a mess. So I start cleaning the living room, and go into my daughter’s bedroom to put away the shoes she left in the living room and then notice all the things that need to be done in there…and so forth. It’s the whole If You Give a Mouse a Cookie scenario, mom style. The fact that I also work from home doesn’t help—I need tactics to stay focused and disciplined!

Resources that can help:

How to find time for yourself

This just might be the biggest struggle for all moms everywhere. We are so very focused on our children and homes that it often doesn’t occur to us to take a little time for self-care—or even that we should! I have also found that sometimes I think I’m taking time for myself and doing a little self-care, but really I am sabotaging myself—perhaps by spending too much time on social media or feeling like indulging in more ice cream is a good thing. Self-care done the right way, though, leaves you feeling refreshed and ready to face your inner mommy battles again.

Resources that can help:

This post may contain affiliate links, for more information, please see my disclosure.